Grabbing a Spoon

Years ago I saw an episode of Friends where Ross is upset because of his divorce and just doesn’t know what to do. In the end after he gets the courage to ask Rachel out he seems happier and at ease. When his sister asks why he says “I grabbed a spoon” Basically meaning he mustered up the courage to grab a spoon and try another type of ice-cream.

This weekend I was talking to my brother and told him I was afraid. Afraid of starting over from zero. His response made me realize something that made me wake up. He said, “After a divorce and some bad relationships and having gotten hurt so much by women who cheated and mistreated you, don’t you think you are actually at a much higher point than zero? You now know what to watch out for, what you want, what you don’t want, etc. NOW you are a full person and much wiser than before.”

It’s not about starting over. It’s about moving forward now that you have grown. You are not starting from zero, you are scarred and your battle wounds have made you into a stronger human being. You now have courage for having gone through a depression, a bad break up, a heartbreak, a divorce, a rape, an abuse, or anything else. You are not damaged, you are stronger. Like a warrior showing his wounds that has made him into a strong man who knows more about life than a child who is starting out. This is who we are. We are warriors in a battle of the heart. Warriors in a battle of the mind. Warriors in our courage to say “I am still standing”.

How great is it to be alive and scarred to the point that we can give others advice and help them through their pain, because we have been there and survived.

So now it’s time to grab a spoon. Now it’s time to say I have survived and I am still alive. I will move forward.

Moving forward and grabbing that spoon could mean letting your self be vulnerable again (with caution) and having a relationship again. Although it doesn’t necessarily mean having a relationship, it could mean so much more. Grab your own spoon and try your different flavors of icecreams. Your flavor could mean moving to a new city, changing jobs, going back to college, forgiving the people who hurt you, writing a best seller, starting a new hobby, getting in shape, and even better a number of these put together. Your flavor of ice-cream won’t be the same flavor as mine or anyone else because you are unique and wonderful in your scars.

Grab your spoon today. Have the courage to smile at life and look forward to trying out new flavors of ice-cream. Some might not be your taste but that is the beauty of exploring who you are. Through introspection comes wisdom and happiness.

Have fun trying your ice-cream and if you ever need a friend my email will always be available. unknownphilosopherdreamer@gmail.com